(Between who you are and who you could be.)

rawacyd
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hi i'm either really sad and sappy, or i'm suddenly a 25 y/o adult with a mission to get her life together. i'm still 20 though, and sad and sappy but mildy responsible.

this is my diary
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how did it end up like this
6.02.2014 @ 07:14
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO OR HOW TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE EVERY TIME I TRY TO TALK TO YOU I SUDDENLY BECOME A MESS OF THOUGHTS AND JUMBLED WORDS THAT SOMETIMES I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU LIKE LOOKING AT ME IN THE EYE BUT I GUESS I’LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE I DON’T EVEN LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AT ALL AND IT’S NOT BECAUSE I’M SHY OR STUPID OR MENTALLY HANDICAPPED BUT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW WHAT HAD TO BE DONE FOR ME TO BE WRITING THESE WORDS IN SUCH A MANNER AND YOU MIGHT LIKE ME AS A PERSON BUT WAIT TILL YOU HEAR WHAT I HAD TO DO AND OVERCOME TO BE HERE AND IT’S THE SAME AS THE ZEPHYR AFTER RAIN WHERE YOU LOVE THE SMELL BUT YOU’D HATE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE CALM AND I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU EVERY TIME I SEE YOU TO BE GOD DAMNED HAPPY BUT THEN YOU’D TELL ME TO BE HAPPY TOO BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT ROXANNE IS ALSO SYNONYMOUS TO SADNESS AND I CAN’T PROMISE YOU I’LL EVER BE AS HAPPY AS WHEN I WAS BEFORE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE

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i don't know what you're saying but i like you anyway
6.01.2014 @ 02:57
I am here, in my room, picking at my callouses with one knee up and I am putting my favourite song on repeat;

Robbers

This reminded me of two things:

a) That I’ll have to get the tickets to see The 1975 real soon

b) That relationships don’t always go right, or wrong, because sometimes they can be the best god damned nightmare you will ever have and you would just love to have it every night.



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