I've grown so tired of you. I really have. This is exhausting for both of us and I don't know why I still lose sleep over you. I really do. My mum likes us together because she thinks you're good for me. I think she likes you even more than me: "he keeps you grounded" and "he makes you a nicer person". It would be good if I could keep someone else grounded and nice.

(I think I'm still sore over the fact that I'm up at 2 in the morning writing about you while you're probably at home sleeping and I am also so afraid and tired)

I am not the girl you go vinyl shopping with,
I am the girl you think about at 2 in the afternoon wondering why I won't talk to you.

You are not the boy I buy cigarettes with,
You are the boy I won't talk to because I know that if I do I cant make you think about me at 2 in the afternoon.

We may not always be our best when we are together but we're already here.

I have made up my mind

I am going to call you

I don't know what to make of this. I'm having such a bad night and I can't think straight.

My thoughts are drawing circles in my mind and my words come out like spirals. You are not toxic because you're not bad for me, but you can't do any good either. I'm sorry, I'm really not making any sense and I figured writing might help. It isn't. I figured talking to you about it might help but I forget that you don't like long conversations about things that don't matter. I'm not feeling the best right now. I can't talk to you.

I don't know what to do.