(Between who you are and who you could be.)

rawacyd
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hi i'm either really sad and sappy, or i'm suddenly a 25 y/o adult with a mission to get her life together. i'm still 20 though, and sad and sappy but mildy responsible.

this is my diary
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3.07.2015 @ 07:13
I am still not feeling my best but I guess it really is okay. (I'm very sure it's because) I've talked about it for an hour last night, and I feel a little more in control now. I never want to do that again. 

I have spent the last hour watching the trailers of movies we planned to watch and I have come to realize that I would not have enjoyed half of them as much as you would have. If feelings came in colors, I am white. Not because I am simple or unclouded, but because I am watered-down and defenseless as fuck. I hope you admit that what you did was convenient and hurtful; (I think) for the both of us. 
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no real reason
06:53
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Chronostasis
06:46
Chronostasis is a type of temporal illusion in which the first impression following the introduction (or end) of a new event or task demand to the brain appears to be extended in time.

"Do you know what chronostasis is?"
"I don't," you say.

It's a phenomenon.
Where the clock appears to have stopped.



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When
3.04.2015 @ 10:24
How is a series of thoughts I have in my mind while I question the possibility of recovering after getting over something you have been wanting to get over in the longest time available and finding yourself lost and confused and regretful afterwards.

How is a series of thoughts I have in my mind about you, about this.

How is a series.
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How
10:21
2 years of telling you who I am can't change your perception of me but apparently a tweet I retweeted can.
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how pt.2
10:19
Did we do the right thing
We did do the right thing

"Do the right thing."
"Did we?" 
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how pt.3
10:17
It is 2 in the morning and your voice reminds me of sleep and cruel convenience.
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pathetically inadequate or unfashionable
02:33
I don't like how the dictionary describes the word sad. I am sad but I am nothing like how the dictionary describes the word to be. To be sad is to show sorrow; and I don't know what degree of sadness I am at if I am showing none. 

I'm just glad we found time to talk and sort out the knots. I'm positive the break we're going to take will be good for the both of us. 
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